I have always loved Johannesburg. I think that has come through rather firmly in my musings – although the drivers sometimes leave much to be desired. But it seems these days it's pretty much indicative of most of the country.

However, I no longer wish to live here.

I don't know if it's because of all the stuff that comes to light about government and politicians and corrupt public service works, or people being rude to each other, with no good reason other than they don't happen to be the same. The levels of tension are running so high frankly, I don't even want to leave my house some days.

Especially as there are so many accidents in our little neck of the woods with people paying absolutely no attention to the rules of the road, or stopping where they should, or even knowing how to identify or decipher what road signs mean. Seriously, every day on the social media area groups, people are posting about accidents, children being knocked over, people driving the wrong way down one ways outside schools – it seems never ending.

And I have good reason for not wanting to go out. A few days ago, on a pretty routine trip to the shops, a 4 x 4 Nissan Hardbody came screaming down a suburban road, ignoring not only the speed humps and the 40km/hour speed limit, but the stop street too. If it hadn't been for the fact that I was slowing to turn the corner, I would have been t-boned.

Explaining with gestures after I had slammed my car to a stop that there happens to be a stop street there to the driver of the other car, one would think that he would have shame-facedly apologised and gone about his day, maybe being more aware of stop streets.

No. Not this individual.

He then tried to overtake me – while I was passing a parked car – with a view to forcing me off the road it seems, as although I kept ahead of him, being as there wasn’t actually place to pass. I tried to ignore this blatantly aggressive display and continued on my route. This cretin then attempted to force me off the road again! I managed to slip past him, only to get stopped at red traffic lights at which fortunately changed, as he screamed up behind me and jumped out of his car and started walking towards me as they turned green. I immediately started taking evasive action, driving around and around blocks, hoping he would get bored and go away. But nothing doing. He continued harassing me and chasing me through a busy shopping area, until finally, somebody turned in front of him and I managed to get away. For a while.

I intended going straight through to a police station, but saw a CSS Tactical armed guard vehicle and decided to stop them and ask them if it would be okay if I just hung with them for a while just in case the person who had been terrorising me on the roads caught up with me again. While I was talking to them through my passenger side window, the same guy came careening down the road, screeched to a halt, jumped out of the car and came in our direction.

As he was racing over towards us, I opened my window and asked frankly – “What the F&*k do you think you’re doing?”, whereupon he hit me flat across the face. The two CSS Guards came to my side of the car and pulled him away. Fortunately I had my SmartPhone to hand, and despite hands that weren’t really taking orders that well, managed to take a picture of his car’s registration. I informed him that he had better get himself to the Police Station, as assault is a criminal offence and I was going to be charging him.

This individual, probably realising that it would be better to go to the police station and be arrested there rather than them having to track him down and doing it at work or home in front of friends/family/colleagues, arrived some half an hour after us and was taken away.

I received a phone call while working a couple of days later to advise that I would need to talk to the investigating officer as the cretin had laid a counter charge of assault against me. I have since been advised by an attorney that I should consider adding reckless driving, reckless endangerment, harassment and intimidation to the assault charge.

How such a spurious claim can even be considered by the police or the legal system, God alone knows, even if it is the ‘usual thing’ for someone who has been charged to do. I, a 53 year old single mother of 2 young teenagers, was in my car when I was attacked and harassed, and have two witnesses who saw the whole thing go down. At no stage did I impugn the man’s character, threaten him or try to damage his property. He obviously just didn’t like being told he was in the wrong and instead of apologising for his reckless, careless actions on the road, he decided to go on the offensive. So he has come to the conclusion that committing perjury and wasting police and court time is a far better course of action. Because who the hell was this Woman to tell him he can’t do whatever he pleases.

I am immensely depressed that in this day and age any person – let alone any man – feel they have the right to go and hit anybody, for any reason. This is completely unacceptable behaviour, and conduct unbecoming of any member of the human race.

It is sad that it has become commonplace in this country for women and children to be abused, in any form whatsoever, by men who feel they have been emasculated in some way and the only way to make themselves feel like ‘men’ again is to pick on people smaller or weaker than themselves.

This is the type of behaviour that a concerned group of citizens, who have banded together to start making people more and more aware of the revoltingness that is going on in our society, are aiming to bring to the fore. That it is NOT OKAY for anyone to behave in this fashion. That it is NOT OKAY to abuse anybody in any way. It’s time we all stood up and said STOP. Which is why I am on the Executive Committee of the Noordien Foundation – one that is totally anti women and children abuse….

STOP means just that. STOP. Not pause. Not slow down. I hope this man doesn’t have a child who is learning from him. A daughter who may say stop to a guy, who then goes on to beat or rape her. Or to have a son who is told STOP by a woman, and takes no notice. These are not the lessons we should be teaching our children.

The rules and the law are there for a reason. Be it on the road, or in any other facet of life.

I do realise that it's probably only 10 percent of the population that behave in this despicable manner, while the other 90 percent of us just want to get on with life, trying to abide by the rules while also trying to make life better for all those we come into contact with. That doesn't make me feel any better.

I am saddened. This is not the country I want my children to grow up in anymore……

It's that time of year when Joburg empties out, when most of the people making the city a hotbed of madness leave for the coast, leaving those of us who want to relax to finally be able to do so.

Unfortunately, with fewer people around and more time to take note of things, one notices how the city is falling more and more apart at the seams.

Luckily we do have some people in the political arena who are there, fighting the good fight. And none more so than our local ward councillor, Tim Truluck of the DA. Our go-to guy who really does put up with a lot of grief from every quarter. Including from me – but deals with it all with pluck and aplomb. We receive weekly missives from him, keeping us up to speed with what's happening in our neck of the woods.

This week's mailer shows us just how the all-pervading shenanigans that go on at the highest echelons of our country's government filter down into our microcosm. It's a seriously good read.

Take it away, Tim:

 
We are all too aware of the monumental mess up that Zuma has made of our economy over the past 5 days. But this inability to realise the long term knock on effect of his action for short term political gain spreads right down to municipal level. Obviously, not the megalomaniac thoughts of Zuma himself, but of those in leadership positions in our City.
It is quite clear that the current leadership in our City are unable to turn the City around. Yes, the Mayor and his Mayoral Committee talk the talk and spout the correct politically pleasing words on the local and international stage. But when it comes to the actual doing, they are scared of the voters, unable to shift the behemoth of Joburg into gear, and consequently, cannot implement what they say they are doing.
Eusebius Mackaizer in an opinion piece in today's Independent Online entitled: “Eish, who will you vote for next year?” hits the nail on the head when he makes the link between what Zuma does, and his underlings do. He says…
“… in a sense, it is easy to simply focus on Zuma, because it allows us one focal point for our collective anger that we remain a deeply unjust society and one that is underperforming massively.” And…
“Zuma is just a symptom of the leadership malaise. One would be foolish to think that in the unlikely event of Zuma exiting the political stage voluntarily, tomorrow, all would be well within the ANC and within the state.” And …
“If the ANC cannot be effective in its oversight of a cadre it has deployed to the highest office in the land, then the ANC itself is as disastrous politically as the president.”
And so we come to why the City of Joburg stumbles from one crisis to another, from one billing problem to another street light that is out, from having no idea as to where 40% of its water goes to, to no law enforcement.
It starts at the top with ineffectual and politically motivated leadership of the Mayor and his Mayoral Committee (aka Members of the Mayoral Committee or MMC). They are the ones who steer Joburg in the direction they want, and it is they who seem to be making populist and odd leadership decisions that affect the 4 million or so Joburg residents.
These are the political leadership that instruct the entities under their portfolio to act in a certain way and do things that they want them to do. For instance, the MMC for Infrastructure and Environment, MMC Matshidiso Mfikoe, instructs the bosses of City Power, Joburg Water, Pikitup and Environment as to whether to attend the Section 79 Oversight Committee, she sits on reports meant for this committee and rides roughshod over the Committee Chair when she is upset.
The DA in Joburg has scored the Mayor and his MMCs out of ten. It is not a pretty picture.

 
DA's 2015 CoJ Mayoral Committee Scorecard

It is almost five years since Parks Tau has taken office as Mayor of Johannesburg, but under his leadership the so-called world class African city has merely limped along, battling to provide residents with levels of service befitting of such a title.
For years inaccurate billing has remained a constant challenge, negatively impacting the city’s finances and ultimately delaying the roll-out of much needed maintenance and upgrade programmes throughout the city.
This crisis is exacerbated by a massive R1,2 billion tender for unapproved smart electricity meters which was awarded to Edison Power, whose chairperson Vivian Reddy has close ties to President Jacob Zuma.
Over the years housing and sanitation backlogs have left thousands of residents living their lives in undignified squalor, while the city simply takes no action against large scale corruption and non-delivery.
Every day Johannesburg residents are forced to cope with massive water losses, unreliable electricity supply, poor road infrastructure, failed job creation initiatives and an ever-slowing rate of service delivery.
Johannesburg should be a world-class city. It has the capacity and the people to achieve this goal, and residents want to see it shine as a caring city for all who live in it.
Johannesburg should become a model of service delivery and excellence in South Africa, a title currently held by Cape Town.
The DA has developed this report card to rate the performance of Mayor Parks Tau and Members of the Mayoral Committee (MMCs) to analyse each individual’s grasp of their portfolio, their service delivery track record, and their willingness to be held accountable.
Executive Mayor – Cllr Parks Tau
While the city stumbles from crisis to crisis, Mayor Tau uses every publicity stunt in the book to paint a picture of a Johannesburg which is far removed from reality.
Mayor Tau is ultimately responsible for the state of the city, but yet palms it off to others and dodges accountability every step of the way.
The recent Pikitup strike is a case in point, where the mayor prioritised the Africities Summit over rampant strikers and rubbish piles all over the city. He had to turn to provincial Cooperative Governance MEC Jacob Mamabolo to act outside his mandate to intervene and restore order.
True to form, the mayor has yet to pronounce himself on the fight against corruption, water losses, electric supply instability, and housing issues.
The fact is that residents have long ago realised that mayor Tau is merely a poster boy for the city, while he allows the proper running of the city to be hampered by ineffective spending, corruption and poor management.
Mayor Tau has not met any of his key performance indicators, is not willing to be held accountable, and continues to hold Johannesburg back from being a world-class city.
Score: 3/10
MMC for Finance – Cllr Geoffrey Makhubo
Since taking over the finance portfolio in 2011 from Mayor Parks Tau, Geoffrey Makhubo has been more hands-on than his predecessor ever was.
He scores well for attending Section 79 committee meetings, for listening to opposition input, and at times, accepting important suggestions.
However, he defends the indefensible, including the R1,2 billion smart electricity meters contract with Edison, which has caused major headaches for thousands of consumers.
Makhubo likes to paint a rosy picture, pretending all is well.
Yet the recent arrests of revenue employees and officials doing business with council show that he has not been able to beat corruption and build an effective financial management environment.
Score: 4/10
MMC for Economic Development – Cllr Ruby Mathang
Under the stewardship of Cllr Mathang, the local economic development department has failed to meet key targets, and the city has failed to facilitate a “one-stop, red-carpet” facility to attract investors.
Of particular concern is that Cllr Mathang’s written responses to questions arising from quarterly reports provide the bare minimum information, leaving proper oversight completely hamstrung.
The lack of detail on business process outsourcing (BPO) and the Johannesburg Broadband Network (JBN) are prime examples.
There is a huge gap in information about what the JBN will do and how it will be funded, which creates potential for corruption and mismanagement.
Despite numerous DA requests, members of the board of the Johannesburg Market have yet to address the Economic Development Committee and answer questions.
Score: 4/10
MMC for Housing – Cllr Dan Bovu
Housing MMC Dan Bovu pays lip service to critical questions.
His responses regarding the controversial 96/97 housing list are totally unsatisfactory; claiming that 5% of applicants will be housed, yet subsequent reports have contradicted him, noting that not a single house had been allocated.
The department has failed to meet its own targets, and according to the latest quarterly report, met only four out of its 14 Key Performance Indicators.
Very little effort is made to tackle corruption and improve monitoring of service providers contracted to provide housing. Overall, project management leaves much to be desired.
As a result, contractors deliver poor quality housing or in some cases abandon building sites, leaving the city with virtually no value for money.
Score: 2/10
MMC for Public Safety – Cllr Sello Lemao
The buck for the failures of the Johannesburg Metro Police Department (JMPD) and EMS fire services stops with Cllr Lemao.
He has let down the people of Johannesburg, which has been rated one of the world’s most unsafe cities.
Complaints about corrupt JMPD officials are received daily, while traffic law enforcement appears to be limited to occasional after-hour road blocks and joint operations.
During the past year Public Safety Department has failed on many life-and-death service deliverables, such as the Joburg 10+ service, which remains ineffective in most wards.
There are major mechanical issues with EMS fire rescue fleets, with many fire stations ill-equipped and understaffed.
Firefighters are caught up in long-standing unresolved disputes with management, and morale is at an all-time low.
Score: 3/10
MMC for Transport – Cllr Christine Walters
Cllr Walters is one of the few well-performing MMCs and puts her colleagues to shame.
She lives up to her open-door policy, boasts a strong attendance record at meetings and is always willing to assist all councillors. Her written responses are timeous and thorough.
However, the story for the two transport entities in her portfolio, Metrobus and the Johannesburg Roads Agency (JRA), is the complete opposite. Management of both entities are reluctant to attend compulsory meetings and respond to questions unless Cllr Walters intervenes.
The JRA remains tarnished with allegations of corruption, supply chain manipulation and collusion. While motorists and commuters have to deal with potholes, broken traffic lights, and poor infrastructure, very little change seems to be in the offering.
Public transport remains a matter of concern. Metrobus struggles with a massive overdraft and low passenger usage, while staff recently went on strike over incorrect PAYE deductions.
Score: 6/10
MMC for Environment, Infrastructure and Service Delivery – Cllr Matshidiso Mfikoe
Arguably the portfolio which requires the strongest of personalities, proven leadership skills, and a track record of problem solving and negotiation – all of which are lacking in Cllr Mfikoe.
With the entities at the forefront of service delivery such as Pikitup, City Power and Joburg Water all part of this portfolio, the track records of these entities during the past years tell their own stories about Cllr Mfikoe’s poor performance.
Overall, this portfolio has underachieved on every one of its key performance indicators, evidenced by the regressing quality of service delivery and ever-growing maintenance backlog.
Score: 2/10
MMC for Development Planning – Cllr Ros Greeff
The potential for maladministration in Cllr Greeff’s department, which has a budget of hundreds of millions of rand, is incredibly high due to the lack of proper checks and balances.
The department is plagued by staff shortages and a lack of critical skills, and urgently requires a sense of professionalism.
Very few Key Performance Indicators were achieved and as such, the department has had to return R100 million in unspent funds which were destined for Mayor Tau’s “Corridors of Freedom” projects.
The questionable number of claim applications creates an environment for potential corruption with building inspectors.
Score: 3/10
MMC for Health and Social Development – Cllr Nonceba Molwele
Social assistance provided by the department is haphazard to say the least, and fails to build any solid foundation to empower those who need it most.
The social net it purports to provide has too many gaps to be effective in meeting the needs of residents.
Funding remains a critical shortcoming, but this requires political will and a commitment to the plight of the needy to fulfil.
This is echoed by Cllr Molwele’s reluctance to attend Section 79 committee meetings and her lackadaisical approach to oversight.
Score: 4/10
MMC for Community Development – Cllr Chris Vondo
The recent horrific murders and rape in Rhodes Park, Kensington highlighted the need for improved security in the City’s parks.
Cllr Vondo areas of responsibility include Joburg City Parks, the zoo, cemeteries, and open spaces, and these facilities remain poorly cleaned and maintained. In short Rhodes Park has become a poster of the department’s inability to provide residents with safe and relaxing recreation areas.
Score: 4/10
MMC for Corporate and Shared Services – Cllr Mally Mokoena
The departments are plagued by operational problems due to senior managers who do not take their work seriously and are places where political patronage appears to reign supreme.
In one instance a list of bursary recipients included relatives of an ANC councillor – these were only removed by officials after the DA vehemently opposed their inclusion.
Since then, the DA has been eagerly awaiting a report reflecting that the names had indeed been removed, but to date none has been forthcoming.
In general, the Department has failed to achieve many of their annual targets, and its budget was underspent – clear indications of a lack of skilled and competent professional staff to oversee project management and implementation.
Score: 5/10
Johannesburg requires dramatic intervention if the city is ever going to have acceptable levels of service delivery. It is clear that Mayor Tau and his MMCs are simply coasting along in the hope that people remain satisfied with a poor quality of life.
When one compares Johannesburg’s levels of service delivery, job creation initiatives, public safety plans, revenue collection and financial management with the DA-led City of Cape Town, it is abundantly clear that Johannesburg has a long way to go before it can call itself a world-class city.
During the past five years residents have seen for themselves how the gulf between Johannesburg and Cape Town has widened, and are ready to Vote DA in next year’s local government elections.
People know that where the DA governs, life is better
Media enquiries:
Cllr Vasco da Gama
DA Johannesburg Caucus Leader
082 957 8581 / vascodajhb@gmail.com

The more I listen to the radio, or read social media outpourings, honestly – the more I’d like to pretend I’m a big brown bear in Siberia and it’s hibernation time. There’s the dire state of affairs in other parts of the world, which seems to be foremost in many a Seffricans mind. Whereas I believe we should be worrying more about the bad things that are happening here on the crime front, and how woman and child abuse is on the rise.

Happily, there are things we can do about it. With Women’s Month here (9th August of course being Women’s day), the spotlight is on how to honour the women not only in your life, but all those you come across. And it’s to honour all the countless contributions to the struggle for justice and human rights by multitudes of women across southern Africa – that we should spare a thought for the continued violations of basic rights of women. And spare a thought for the massive number of women who are victims of economic and social crises that they had no part in creating. Happily there’s a group of us who are on a mission to bring this abuse to the forefront of the public’s mind, to help those who are victims of abuse , and are in the beginning stages of setting up facilities to give them somewhere to go, to get help, to be rehabilitated, to learn new skills – through the Noordien Foundation, the brainchild of and spearheaded by our former President, FW de Klerk’s daughter in law, Nicole Noordien de Klerk. Wish us luck – It’s going to get loud!!

But when not thinking about politicking, or finding out which areas countrywide could do with our help, I also get to spend time with other remarkable women in my little neck of the woods, each doing their own little bit to make life better for other people, for those who have been marginalised, often through no fault of their own. One I see every week, when I make my circular early morning walks in the area, and to buy any veg I haven’t grown in my garden and free range eggs from, is the dynamo who has been working tirelessly for a few years on behalf of REEA Foundation, a non-profit organisation caring for adults living with epilepsy and mild mental disorders who cannot be accommodated in a normal family environment. I got to know Daniella Alexander because of my interest in the amazing vegetable garden she set up in the Foundation’s grounds in Craighall Park. Every year, I get invited to judge the Veggie and Scarecrow Competitions, and a great time is had by all. She recently went on a mission to have the greenhouse declared a heritage building – and got it – and then had REEA Foundation nominated by Gardens of the Golden City as a beneficiary for the coming year. With them, and the support of her husband (who listened to her ideas and vision, giving her emotional support through all the ups and downs at the gardens and financially supporting the project for the past 4 years)…. this initial phase of restoration of the heritage greenhouse building would not have become a reality. Her husband is paying for the renovations. Which look absolutely fantastic.

Through visiting there, I got to know Lynda Smith, the founder and manager of Pet Food service delivery in aid of the REEA Foundation. Another fab woman trying in her small way to improve the lives of the disenfranchised – while helping the owners of all the pampered pooches in Barkhurst! (and if you want to know just how much, visit the I Love Parkhurst facebook page for some heated discussions about people and their pets  )

But this is not all that’s been happening in this quiet little place down near the Braamfontein Spruit. Once a week, lessons are held at the gardens – The Eco Agriculture Food Security Programme – which is aimed at empowering previously disadvantaged individuals with the skills they need to grow their own food and other plants as well as how to create a livelihood from this skill.

This is a spot where horsey people can stable their mounts – in the suburbs. There are pony rides for kids too – but the interesting thing is how well equine therapy works. Taking this programme a step further, Egoli Rangers has formed an association with Nazareth House, a home for children younger than 12 who are infected or affected by HIV/Aids. Every week, a group of Nazareth House residents are hosted by the rangers. Some of the children receive riding instruction, whilst others enjoy a picnic and an afternoon of activities. For these children, who have experienced grief and lost the joy in life, these excursions – and the horses themselves – are a great source of hope and happiness.

There’s the Rambling Rose Charity Shoppe, a bookshop, Pet food supply and delivery, furniture restoration, a car wash, markets, fun days and more happening, all mainly to raise funds to keep REEA going. There are now 3 exciting “new” tenants at REEA, all in various stages of moving in and operation. As of the middle of July, Dunkeld Cycles moved their Service Centre to their premises … And a great new little coffee spot (for all those Mountain Bikers cruising the spruit) – the Delta Cafe – opened it’s doors right next to the famous veggie patch. And on top of all that, Dash of Paint has built an art studio next to the greenhouse.

At a school assembly this week, I heard the teacher reminding the kids about Random Acts of Kindness, and how everything you do impacts on other people. She asked them all just to do one kind thing every day, no matter whether you know the person or not. And I realised that I’m so blessed to know so many wonderful women in this very precariously placed city of ours that are doing things to help others without expecting any kudos or recompense for themselves.

These are the women I prefer to surround myself with. (Especially those like Daniella who read I needed rubber ducks in my house as mine had gone missing and how on EARTH was I supposed to keep my ducks in a row – and immediately went and bought me some!) The rest? Well, if they’re just complaining and not doing something for THEIR country, I’m Fergussoning them on FaceBook! With immediate effect.

SOME GENERAL INFORMATION ON THE GARDENS

A vegetable garden of this proportion is hard work, and Daniella’s always looking for volunteers… And when you see that this is what they offer, you understand why!

– Farming and Operations Planting, weeding and watering (12 sections of the garden = 12 volunteers)

Harvesting fresh produce for the REEA hostel kitchen and market day

Composting – Bokashi

Handyman type activities – carpentry, building … (they are getting 2 pigs soon, and they need a house)

Administration Volunteer co-ordination

Fundraising assistance: fundraising plans/events or potential contacts

Annual Vegetable Exhibition co-ordination and planning Funding application assistance

– Communications

Photography

Facebook/blogging support

Newsletter production, content and mailing list management

Website/blogpage

Writing articles

-Education

Education (children and adult) programme design

Education assistance organising and implementing (kids programme starts September)

Vegetable Club meetings – co-ordination and set-up on the day

Giving lectures, talks and demonstrations, guided tours

Assisting people with special needs (including REEA residents)

The Vegetable Garden and Greenhouse Project at REEA is run as a voluntary initiative for the community to enjoy and learn from. Ultimately they aim to support REEA financially. There are numerous costs that are incurred on a monthly basis when running an initiative such as this (seeds, seedlings, chicken feed, labour, maintenance and running costs). There are also great plans in the pipe-line (the other half of the greenhouse roof, water collection systems, heating systems, covered teaching facility, building of a museum on our heritage site…). They have been appealing to those people who are unable to donate their time to consider making a financial contribution.

People can contact Daniella directly if they have any questions regarding donations or funding for this initiative – danant@telkomsa.net or daniella@freshedge.co.za or 072 207 8196

Donations can be made to Account name: REEA Foundation Bank: Nedbank Branch: Hyde Park Branch Code: 197205 Account number: 1523013834 Ref: Veggdn – Surname

 

REEA Foundation – Epilepsy Care Centre Corner Marlborough & Richmond Avenues, Craighall Park, 2196 P.O. Box 41116, Craighall, 2024 Tel: +27 11 788 4745 E-Mail: admin@epilepsycarecentre.za.net Web: www.reaa.org.za NPO 000-771 PBO 930 0000 281

Someone who over the years has never failed to amaze me with his work. And if you haven't discovered this particular gem, I reckon you're all the poorer for not having seen South Africa through his eyes – http://obieoberholzer.net/ and for all his latest thoughts, musings and pictures – https://www.facebook.com/Oberholzer.Obie?hc_location=stream. And for pictures of a totally different kind, done in lipstick by a rather interesting blonde – http://lipstickart.wordpress.com/ – sometimes very very blonde, but always manages to touch my heart – https://www.facebook.com/sarah.britten?fref=ts

It’s a strange thing, this blogging. Especially if, although you may be a person of many words, you find you have nothing really to say. It’s spring again (although with the snow on the mountains outside Cape Town, the cold weather in Joburg would belie that) and I’m doing the same thing I do this time every year. Wandering around wondering at the amazing flowers of the bauhinias, bougainvilleas, erythrinas and Strelizias, enjoying the smells of the jasmine, wisteria, Yesterday,Today and Tomorrow and the syringas. Sneezing up a storm, like so many others, wishing for the rain to come and settle all the dust and smoke and dryness. Every day you see the clouds massing, you wait in breathless anticipation of the afternoon thundershowers that must, that must come soon…

It could become all very subjective. So many things can happen in a person’s life that have no bearing on or is in any way relevant to other people. Especially when you hit 17 again (with 200% interest, although I’m trying to convince the Parkhurst Pixies that is the right sum, not 300%. Shew, I’m not THAT old!) So unless you’re a wanna-be agony aunt, there’s no point in bemoaning things that happen to you personally – is there? People are up in arms – again – about the E-Toll debacle (we’re calling it the F E-Toll in this house). It doesn’t affect me, as I totally refuse to go on the highways if I can help it. I’ve decided on a much mellower way of driving. By mostly staying off the roads as much as possible, or only going out when it isn’t rush two-hour. And although I’d like to add my voice to those trying to fight these things in the New South Africa, it just seems to be completely pointless. No matter what the people want, and how much they fight against things that are just, well, wrong, it seems to have no effect. Other than getting oneself bent out of shape. No. I’m not becoming a born-again hippie. Or even toying with the idea of becoming a wanna-be hippie. Going backwards doesn’t help with going forward. Avoidance is the new watchword.

So it may be a good thing to on a yearly basis bump people on the psychic head and remind them of all the good stuff that happens in this strange city of ours. Maybe. I think far too many of them are getting their A-Type Personality stress out on each other down on the Spruit ride on the weekends (you should just see what it looks like now – giving the M1 in rush hour a run for its money!). No more the throwing down of golf clubs in anger on the fairway. It’s mayhem on those single tracks folks.

So I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing. Taking time out to smell the roses…..

And we settle into the dark days of winter… Well, I guess they’re not really, but with the sun going down earlier and coming up later, it feels like being in London all over again. We are blessed in Johannesburg with having mild winters mostly. Yes, the sun may be watery and white, annihilating the colours of the landscape with its nuclear blast clarity, but it’s certainly better than wet and blustery and cold. Never again could I live through a London or Dublin winter in all honesty… Now someone just needs to come up with giant air-cleaning apparatus to get rid of the smog and we’d have a fabulous city all over again!

Happily, in many ways, our huge forest cuts down on so much of the pollution, even if it doesn’t seem like it. And don’t you especially love the colours of late autumn trees – simply beautiful in some places. But it is a time of almost somnolent slumber, with the earth and our gardens bedding themselves down for a while before the great push for spring and the uncovering of all her buried treasures.

And that’s pretty much what I intend doing this winter. Again! Once I’ve put my book to bed.

Funny thing, when you’re growing up you have dreams and aspirations. I remember at 9 saying I wanted to go to RADA, and to dye my hair blonder and become a model. And I wanted to be an archaeologist (well, I get around to studying it for 2 years before swapping to something a little less dry and dusty!) and I always said I wanted to write a book.

So I have. However, it’s not the one I envisaged writing really. A book on Gardening in South Africa. Who woulda thought? Certainly not me, for one… I wanted to write the great novel, but it seems my green fingers are more fertile than my mind. Luckily I have amazing friends like Rosie Fiore (expat writer living in London) who got a great book deal with Quercus and is a published chick-lit author. Her latest, Wonder Women, was released as an e-book in March is going to be hitting the bookstore shelves around the world in June. Rosie was the person who kicked my butt into playing Comedy Games with a bunch of some of the greatest comedic personages in Johannesburg a couple years back and I have watched all of these wonderful actors/presenter/comedy greats growing in leaps and bounds, not only here at home, but also overseas.

I guess it’s a case of just getting down and doing it and realising those dreams. Especially when it’s cold. And you can hibernate.

If you’d like to read more of Rosie’s online musings, or find out about her books, get to http://www.rosiefiore.com/wordmonkey.html – and I’ll give all you gardening gnomes a heads up when my book gets published later this year.

Wherever you are – stay warm. Stay safe. Stay true to your inner child…..

 

Wow. Okay, not sure if I entered a strange time-altering machine which has whisked away so many months without me noticing, or if I’ve just been hectically busy – or relentlessly slack! But away I have been, but it’s time to come back and hit the ‘real’ world…
WE made it! 2013 is well on the way, the Mayans got their calendar wrong (or rather, we got it wrong, as apparently there were only 360 days in their calendar or something), it’s been hellishly hot and strange in Joburg, with January weather making an appearance in February, the Red Hot Chili Peppers have been and gone, Die Antwoord need to reinvent themselves (I do wish Waddy would go back to being Max Normal, he did it so well), AFCon’s done and dusted, with the Nigerians proving they’re taking over the continent in so many ways, our former pistol of Golden Boy, BladeRunner Oscar Pistorius has had a trying time, and the South African Mzansi Ballet Company are gearing up for their production of Don Quixote, featuring many Cuban principal dancers – looks like it’s going to be a balletic tour de force if studio rehearsals are anything to go by.
So many wonderful things happening in this sometimes lovely city of ours. As you’ll have noticed, many of my chats about my city have been about the state of bad driving and bad roads – and this time it’s no different. Well, it’s different from the point of view that I’m trying to find my Zen while driving. It’s Lent you see, and in an effort to educate the ten year old Parkhurst Pixies about Christianity (oh, the lessons that a Retired Catholic can remember) I decided to set a good example to help them give up something. Mine was to be giving up my Road Irritation… No more am I going to let things get to me. No more shouting at people with wild gesticulations as they blithely ignore stop streets (i mean, what’s so difficult about STOP? I always wonder if they have children, and hope that they’ve taught their sons to understand what it means if a girl says STOP, or if the boy taking out their daughter understands that too?), or cock-up using a traffic circle/roundabout. From now on, I will smile goldenly on all the cretins and miscreants that pollute our roadways, sending them on their dark ways with benevolence. Well, something like that! It’s very difficult to keep my hands under control when showing somebody why they are wrong, forcing them into a thumbs up instead of a “can you read between the lines”.
Of course, the Gruesome Twosome are suitably impressed with my restraint, with my bursting into hysterical laughter while intoning – I never did sweat the small stuff (mixing things up a bit, but that’s what certain drivers can do to your brain.) It’s difficult. Every day seems to become more fraught, and so many days I decide to cancel everything so I don’t have to drive anywhere, other than fetching Pixies from school (and if I have to tell you about the young snotty mothers in the area whose children go to private schools rather than the perfectly good one up the road, who decide that one way and no entry signs don’t apply to them we’d be here all day, so I’ll just jump out from between parked cars in front of them so they’ll realise that children don’t look both ways in a one way street instead).
It is a lesson in self-restraint, this Lenten thing. But if more people decided to do something good for the period leading up to Easter, we may end up with fewer deaths on the roads during those holidays…. All together now – let’s pray……
By: Melanie Walker

The January rains are a little late this year, only coming mid-February, which was great for building show gardens, but not so great for filming a gardening show. Necessarily, shooting gardens happens outside, so we're totally at the mercy of the afternoon Highveld Thunderstorm when it comes to getting pretty pictures of fabulous places in and around our city.

And today was no exception. From a gorgeous little 3 courtyard garden in The Hurst, we headed for Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens, to take in the different sections of development there, specifically the magnificent Succulent rockery that has been put together, and to check out the riot of colours at the Geological walk. What a splendid place (evidenced here by the overuse of superlatives and heightened adjectives!) to go for a great meander.

The trouble started at the foot of the pictureque waterfall, where I was oohing and ahing over the wonderful plantlife up the cliff face, and pondering the possibility of going on the major ramble they have. Now, pictures of nature in the rain still look pretty good, but a presenter being pelted – well, not so much!

With takes in the can (or whatevah they'd call it in this day and age of digital technology) the run back to the restaurant under a scrim still gave us a chance to wonder at all the botanical glory that we have in our little corner of the world, microcosmed in one well thought out and planned space.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I'm sure many of you on FB have seen these compositions of “what society thinks I do”, “what I think I do” etc. and arriving home from my shoot today, finally found this one! 'Living in Joburg'. So very very apt – and sure to bring a smile to anybody who lives in Gangsta's Paradise!

And you've gotta laugh at stuff sometime. Life's too short not to quite frankly. Unless you have a husband who's in training for the Cape Epic. Definitely no laughing matter… If anyone's keen to see why I let him do this race for a second time (first time I was an Epic Widow, I swore if there was a second, he'd be an Epic Divorcee), take a look at his road to this long, arduous and dusty race. And if you like the reason why he's doing it, get involved. http://www.friendsofanton.org/cycling-for-anton-hammerl/ – or follow the twits on @antonhammerl – the Tread4 Anton Hammerl Twitter page.

All these meandering thoughts have once again brought me to the realisation that whatever you do, do it fully, with passion – and a whole lot of Seffrican Gung-ho!!!

A Gem of a Country

If you lived in South Africa in the late 80’s/Early 90’s, you would probably at some time or another been aware of a show on television in which one or another strange person in a jumpsuit jumped out of a helicopter and ran around the country shouting STOP THE CLOCK (or STOPPIE HORLOSIE, depending on who it was obviously!)

These were the days when there was no DSTV, eTv or Top tv, just good old Tannie SAUK, so what was probably the country’s first reality tv show, Skattejag/ Treasure Hunt became one of the top 5 programmes ever, with people finding out vicariously about this beautiful country of ours while we did ridiculous things to find treasures.

Yes, the improbably named Scot Scott (and yes, I do know his real name) and I became media darlings, and were instantly recognisable by a horde of people into whose homes we flew every Sunday evening (except for my husband – he was out of the country and has never seen any of my shows, so wasn’t aware of who I was or what I did, or he would probably have run screaming from the amount of testosterone that can be produced by a woman!!). And some 20-years later, nary a week goes by without someone coming up and asking, hey, aren’t you that chick from the chopper?

Now, the reason I’m going back in time is because at heart I have always been, and probably will always be, a Treasure Hunter. They gave me a job doing something I’d have done for free – and there’s the rub. Shows come to an end, and no more playing with helicopters. But the one thing that it gave me was an immense love of the country I live in – and really, nobody got to see it better, or find out more about it than I did…

And then some 6 years ago, I became aware of an almost ‘underground’ group of overland people who were on their own kind of Treasure hunts. I tried, in vain, to get the family involved, and not having a GPS, couldn’t go it alone… Until a few months ago when the man of the house saw a programme on a travel show in which the guys trekking through North Africa started geocaching…

What’s this? he asked.
Geocaching.
Do you know about it? A puzzled response
Yes, I tried to get you interested over the last 6 years.
So why haven’t we gotten into it?
Because you’re male. Men don’t listen.

Needless to say, since Him has discovered this, we’ve been out discovering more about our fair city, and when travelling, our beautiful country every available weekend. The children at first really weren’t keen when they realised that there’s no pot of gold at the end of every GPS rainbow, but once they got with the programme, they’re unstoppable, especially at finding those nanos! (although we have to admit some have only been discovered on the 3rd/4th/5th try…)

Within a 10km radius of where I’m sitting right now, there are about a hundred caches just waiting to be discovered. And you can do it too. Wherever in the world you are. Just need internet access to get the information and waypoints, which you can send to your GPS or a Smart Phone onto which you’ve downloaded the relevant caching programme, pen, camera and walking shoes and off you go. Fun for the whole family and an invaluable learning tool for the littlies. You don’t have to be as fit as the Skattejagters on telly used to be, or be able to swing from chandeliers. Most are easy to get to, and exciting to find!

So, if you ever had a desire to discovered hidden treasures, and give yourself a valuable experience to boot, take a walk off the reserve for a bit and go play. Just remember to tell me about it – you’ll find TheBlondeFH on geocache.com. Happy hunting!!!